Three ingredients of a meaningful life

Three ingredients of a meaningful life

Because retirement is a time filled with fun, travel and leisure it is easy to make the pursuit of pleasure your orienting principle.  That would be a terrible mistake.  There’s nothing wrong with pleasure, but it must exist in the context of something deeper.  Let me explain.

Meaning vs. Pleasure

I’ve written before about Viktor Frankl.  He was a psychiatrist and holocaust survivor who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning about his time as a concentration camp prisoner.  Frankl founded a school of psychology called Logotherapy (literally “meaning” therapy).  He believed that striving to find meaning is the primary motivational force in humans.  This was in contrast to Freud, who believed that the pursuit of pleasure was the driving motivation.  

I’m in Frankl’s camp.  In my experience with retirees, those who focus on meaning often have a deep sense of satisfaction, purpose and happiness.  Pleasure is a welcome byproduct of their pursuit of purpose. Alternatively, those who can’t find this deeper sense of meaning often self-medicate with pleasure.  Pleasure with no greater purpose eventually feels hollow for most people.  So how can you orient your retirement around meaning?

How to find meaning

According to Frankl, there are three different ways to find meaning in life.  I’ll list those below and then relate them to retirement.

Through projects or work.  All of us are designed to do something meaningful and productive.  Retirement doesn’t somehow remove that need, it just means that you no longer have to base your choice on how much something pays.  Maybe that means working part-time in a field that’s always interested you or volunteering for an organization you’re passionate about.  Or maybe it’s running for your local school board or working on a big community project.  Whatever it is, find something that will engage you and leverage your time, treasure and talents.  What people really need, according to Frankl, is “the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task.”

Through experiences and relationships.  Retirement (and life) is at its best when we have loving, healthy relationships with friends and family and we are engaged in meaningful pursuits.  

Through challenges or suffering.  This one might seem a bit counterintuitive at first, but if you think about the times in your life that made you who you are, that taught you the most, that filled you with pride and a sense of accomplishment, my guess would be that a lot of those times grew out of a significant challenge, heartbreak or tragedy.  Frankl believed that we should welcome challenges and suffering, not because they’re fun, but because they can often bring meaning and growth.  He knew that we can’t always control our circumstances, but we can always control our response to our circumstances.  That from a guy who was in a concentration camp and found a way to redeem his suffering and use it as the soil from which he grew his philosophy, vocation and life’s meaning.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl

So as you move toward retirement, absolutely plan on doing fun and interesting things. Splurge on yourself. Be a little selfish.  Just don’t treat the pursuit of pleasure as your ultimate goal.  If you do, you’ll likely be disappointed.  Instead, seek meaning and you’ll likely find pleasure and happiness as well.

Be Intentional,

Joe

Use the 4 disciplines of execution to get your retirement dreams off the drawing board

Use the 4 disciplines of execution to get your retirement dreams off the drawing board

When it comes to retirement, you absolutely want to dream big.   Just don’t forget how important it is to eventually get those dreams off the drawing board.  Here’s a simple framework that can help.  It’s called the 4 Disciplines of Execution (4DX for short) and was developed by several people at FranklinCovey and discussed in their book by the same name.

Discipline #1: Focus on the wildly important

The authors of 4DX write: “The more you try to do, the less you actually accomplish.”  It you try to do too much, very little gets done and the things that you do, don’t get done well.  Concentrate your efforts on a few wildly important goals so you can do them well. 

It’s up to you to choose what “wildly important” things to focus on when it comes to retirement.  Here’s my suggestion, informed by almost 25 years of helping people plan for retirement: Focus on money and meaning.  The money will help you sleep at night (and fund the type of retirement you want).  The meaning will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. 

Discipline #2: Act on lead measures

Once you identify your wildly important goals, you need to measure your progress toward achieving them.  The authors of 4DX suggest there are two types of metrics you can use to measure your progress: lead measures and lag measures.  Lag measures track the thing you’re actually trying to achieve.  In our example above, having enough money to fund your retirement was one of the goals.  A lag measure would look at whether you’ve reached that goal.  Unfortunately, that comes too late to be helpful.  Instead you want to track lead measures.  Those are the behaviors that eventually lead to successful lag measures.  So in our example of money, lead measures could be things like 401k contributions, savings rates or investment returns.

Discipline #3: Keep a compelling scorecard

“People play differently when they’re keeping score,” the 4DX authors write.  The scoreboard brings out our competitive spirit, drives us to stay focused on lead measures and gives encouragement when we see progress toward the ultimate goal(s).  Returning to our example, maybe your scorecard tracks each pay period that you were able to save a certain percentage of your income.  Or if you’re tracking meaning, maybe your scorecard tracks every time you have a date night with your spouse, take a trip or work at learning a new hobby.  Whatever your lead measures, keep a scorecard to track how you’re doing.

Discipline #4: Create a cadence of accountability

In the final discipline, the 4DX authors say that you need to put in place a “rhythm of regular and frequent meetings of any team that owns a wildly important goal.”  Depending on your goal, that “team” could just be you or it could include others like your spouse, financial adviser, friends, children, etc.  Meet regularly with whoever has a vested interest in the outcomes you’re trying to achieve so you can track your progress and hold each other accountable.

Dreaming without doing is a recipe for disappointment.  The 4 Disciplines of Execution will help you turn your retirement plans into reality.

Quick Note: I recently posted a video to YouTube on the 8 Habits of Successful Retirees.  If you haven’t seen it yet, you can click the link to watch it and click “Subscribe” to see future videos.

Be intentional,

Joe

A short poem that inspires action

A short poem that inspires action

Just a short post today. As spring arrives, I want to share one of my favorite poems with you and encourage you to use this time of warming weather, blossoms and new beginnings as a visual reminder to make the most of your time.  The poem, by A. E. Housman, is below.

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide  
 

Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
      

You don’t need to be a poetry expert to understand what Housman was saying.  Life is short.  And when you realize how quickly years pass and you do a bit of mental math, you understand that there’s not much time left.  So don’t wait.  Don’t continue to procrastinate and defer your dreams.  Decide what things, big or small, are important to you and then get busy doing them.  Have a great week.  And, as always…

Be Intentional,

Joe

P.S. I took Housman’s words to heart in a literal way last year and went out to Washington D.C. to see the cherry blossoms (see above photo).  Sometimes the best way to “stop and smell the roses” is just to stop and smell the roses.

Do your actions match your aspirations?

Do your actions match your aspirations?

Happy New Year!  It’s that wonderful time of year when we all get a blank slate and a chance to make a resolution or two.  That got me thinking about actions and aspirations.  What if I told you that my goal for 2019 was to become an Olympic swimmer, but I never got in the pool?  Or if I said I wanted to write the great American novel, but never bothered putting pen to paper?  How confident would you be that I’d reach my goal?  Not very, right?  That’s because most people realize that major accomplishments require major effort.  You’re not going to achieve an exceedingly rare outcome by putting forth a mediocre effort.  Said another way, your actions need to match your aspirations.

How about this one:  What if I told you I want to retire someday.  Big deal, right?  Actually, it is.  We take it for granted because it has become so ingrained in everyday life, but when you think about what retirement really is, it’s a wonder anyone can do it.  Retiring is like saying: “I want to quit my job tomorrow and never work again, but I want to be healthy enough and have enough money to do fun and exciting things and also maintain my standard of living for 30 years or so.”  Seriously?! I think most of us have a better shot at the Olympic team.  

The 1% Life

I recently saw a video of writer/speaker/businessman Gary Vaynerchuck talking to a young man who was describing the kind of career he wanted—meaningful work that paid handsomely but gave three to four months off each year for travel.   He was lamenting that it wasn’t happening and asking for advice.  Gary asked him several questions that made it pretty clear that, aside from daydreaming, the kid wasn’t putting forth much effort to get his dreams off the drawing board. This was Gary’s response (and I’m paraphrasing): Look, you’re asking for a 1% life.  In other words, a life that is so unique and amazing that only 1% or less of the people in the world get to experience that.  What you’re asking for is ridiculous and you’ll have to do ridiculous things to have any hope of making it a reality.  So you’re asking for this 1% life, but you’re not really doing anything to achieve that.  If you want a 1% life, you need to do 1% things.

To borrow Gary’s phrase, retirement is a 1% life.  And if you want to make that 1% life a reality, you need to do 1% things.  And I’m not just talking about money.  Finding meaning is pretty darn hard as well.  There are plenty of retirees who are cash rich and lifestyle poor.  

Unfortunately, we often treat retirement like it’s a 99% life that happens to everyone as long as you make a few 401k contributions and maintain a pulse.  It’s not that easy.  You won’t reach your retirement goals by simply having a certain number of birthdays.  It takes financial stewardship, intention, hard work, effort and sacrifice.  It takes deciding what you really want out of life and taking those plans seriously.  It takes being proactive.  It takes experimenting and practicing so you can refine your plans and get good at actually doing stuff.  It takes building into your relationships and working on your marriage.  It takes eating right and exercising so you can maintain your health.  All of those things are in your control, but they’re not necessarily easy.  But neither is retirement.  It’s rare and unlikely.  It’s a 1% life.  Are you doing 1% things to get there?  Stick around because I’ve got a ton of stuff coming your way this year that will help. Here are two that you’ll see in your inbox soon:

January Health Articles

I don’t care how much money you’ve saved, retirement won’t work without your health. Take care of yourself so you can get out there and enjoy life. Follow along at Intentional Retirement during January and I’ll post several health-related articles and resources to help you start the year off right.

aMUSEments

Sometimes you just need a little inspiration.  A muse, if you will.  With that in mind, each Friday in 2019 I’m going to send out a quick list of the coolest and most interesting things I’ve found that week relating to retirement.

The list might include trip ideas, articles, products, quotes, retirement tips or anything else that looks interesting or inspiring.  The goal is to give you a quick dose of motivation as you head into your weekend.  Keep an eye out for the first one in a few days.

~ Joe

4 Days in Italy

4 Days in Italy

Home again, Home again.

Apparently I can travel faster than I can write.  I made it home Tuesday in the small hours of the morning, but I still have several articles I want to share with you including about my time in Italy and Germany as well as my reflections on and lessons from the trip.  I’ll send those your way over the next week or so. Thanks so much for following along and keeping me company over 18 days and 25,000 plus miles.  It was a fun experience!

Italy

After wrapping up my time in France, I took an early morning flight to Naples, Italy where I had a car service waiting to drive me about an hour and a half to a little seaside town on the Amalfi Coast called Positano.  During the planning stages of the trip I read that parking a car in Positano is a difficulty on par with splitting the atom, so I decided to save myself the frustration and just use the aforementioned car service.  The cost was surprisingly reasonable and talking to the different drivers (I used it for several trips) about the economy, politics, their families, the culture and more was a kick.  Plus, the guy who picked me up from the airport was named Fredo so I instantly felt like I had been dropped onto the set of The Godfather (best movie ever).

When we arrived in Positano, I was reminded of a line from Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London where he described the houses on the narrow street where he lived as “lurching towards one another in queer attitudes, as though they had all been frozen in the act of collapse.”  Imagine pushing an entire town over a steep cliff and then somehow freezing the picture as the houses, buildings and roads spilled toward the sea.  That is Positano.  It’s beautiful, but it seems to defy the laws of physics.

Fredo dropped me off at the Hotel Marincanto where I checked in with the usual questions (Just you? Is that backpack your only luggage?) and then found my way to the hotel restaurant for lunch.  It’s hard to imagine a meal with a better view.  My table was outside on a veranda that was covered with flowers and lemon trees (Limoncello originated on the Amalfi Coast) and looked down the hillside at the crashing waves below.  My waitress was a friendly Italian woman who age-wise could have been my mother and who, like my mom, took joy in providing a good meal. I ordered the ravioli and a beer. She asked me what kind of beer and I told her to surprise me.  “Ah, Peroni for you,” she said.  When I later complimented her on her choice of beers, she brought me another, gratis.  Smiling, she said: “Is good, no?”

Stomach full, I decided to do a little exploring.  As you might imagine from my earlier description, walking the streets of Positano is like doing a Stairmaster workout with the machine on “Everest” mode, but the shops and scenery reward you for the effort.

The itinerary for Italy was designed to give me a little downtime after the breakneck pace of Hong Kong and France.  I had four days instead of three and the only scheduled activity I had was a tour of Pompei and Mount Vesuvius.  The rest of the time was earmarked with exploring Positano, hiking the paths above the town and working.  A typical workday started with breakfast and cappuccinos in the hotel restaurant and then writing, answering emails, calling clients and running trades in my makeshift office on the balcony outside my room.

Makeshift office on the balcony outside my room.

Pompeii and Vesuvius

Visiting the ancient Roman city of Pompeii and the volcano that buried it meant taking a day trip back into Naples.  After the solitude of Positano, Naples felt raw and frenetic.  I met the tour group near the train station and we took a small bus to Pompeii.  Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD, burying the town in 20 feet of volcanic ash.  Heat was the main cause of death, however, with temps reaching nearly 500 degrees Fahrenheit as far as 6 miles away from the crater.

The ash preserved the town, leaving people and animals frozen in time.  The bodies eventually decomposed and left voids in the ash that excavators—hundreds of years later—filled with plaster.  The result were eerie 3D casts that tell the story of those panicked final moments.  After the tour we walked to a local restaurant for pizza (which originated in Naples) and then took the bus to Vesuvius.  From the parking lot it was about a mile hike/climb to the top where steam vents remind you that the volcano is still active (it last erupted during WWII) and where you can see Pompeii off in the distance.

Path of the Gods

I got up early the morning after Naples and worked until about 3 pm.  With a few hours of daylight remaining, I hopped the local bus and road it to the final stop in the Nocelle neighborhood at the very top of Positano. There is a trail there called the Path of the Gods (Il Sentiero degli Dei) that links Positano with the tiny hilltop town of Agerola.  With my limited daylight, I couldn’t hike the entire thing, but I did enough to recognize that the path came by its name honestly.  The views were really breathtaking.  After returning to Nocelle, I thought about taking the stairs—about 1,500 of them—back to my hotel, but descending the dark, uneven stairs without a headlamp seemed like a surefire way to test out my health insurance, so I walked to the bus stop instead and caught the last bus of the evening.

Watching the sun set from the Path of the Gods.

On to Munich

The next morning I packed, had a few final cappuccinos, said goodbye to the staff and then walked up to the rooftop of the hotel (street level) to wait for my ride.  Stepping out the door, I heard a hearty “Bonjourno Joe!” and looked up to see Fredo.  About halfway through the ride to the airport he asked me if I had time to stop for an espresso.  He took me to his local coffee shop and ordered two espressos made with Kimbo, the local brew.  We stood at the bar (there were no seats in the small café) and were each handed a small cup of orange flavored sparkling water to cleanse our palates.  The perfectly pulled espresso shots came 30 seconds later. We clinked glasses, downed the contents in one shot and it was on to Munich.

~ Joe

3 days in France

3 days in France

France is a few days in my rear-view mirror, but I still wanted to share a few quick stories about my time there.  I flew from Hong Kong to London to Paris (HKG to LHR to CDG in airport parlance), picked up a rental car and drove a few hours to the charming town of Bayeux in the Normandy region of France.  I rented a little flat on a quiet back street and used that as a jumping off point for several days of adventure.

Just walking around the town was an experience.  I’m always awed by how old everything is in Europe.  The origins of the town of Bayeux can be traced back to a Gallo-Roman settlement in the first century BC.  It has survived a number of invaders over the years, from the Viking raids in the 9th century to Hitler in the 20th.  I was fascinated by the cathedral, which is 1,000 years old, and the central role it played in William the Conqueror’s invasion of England (Visit our Facebook page for a bit more on that story and to see a short video I took of the bells ringing one night as I walked back to my flat).

I chose Bayeux, because I wanted to tour the World War II sites around Normandy.  My wife and I were in Paris several years ago and my one regret from that trip was that we didn’t have time for a Normandy day trip, so I wanted to right that wrong.

D-Day sites

To make the most of my time, I hired an experienced guide named Colin McGarry.  He’s originally from England, but met and married a French girl years ago and has been guiding around Normandy since the 1980’s.  He met me at me flat the morning after my arrival and we drove first to Omaha Beach.  He spent time talking about the big themes of the invasion (e.g. strategy, logistics, etc.), but also took a deep dive into many personal stories and recollections of both Americans and their German counterparts on that day of days. I’ve read several books on World War II and watched a number of films like Band of Brothers and Saving Private Ryan, but nothing can quite bring that history alive like walking the beach where so many struggled ashore or running your hand over the broken concrete and twisted rebar of a German machine gun nest.

From the beach, we took the short drive up to the American Cemetery and spent time discussing how it came to be, the soldiers that are still missing and the upcoming 75th anniversary next year.  We also walked to dozens of specific graves where Colin told me stories of heroism and heartbreak from D-Day as seen through that particular soldier’s eyes.  Throughout the rest of the day, we visited a number of other sites around the area including Utah Beach, Pointe du Hoc, St. Mere Eglise, Brecourt Manor, St. Mere du Mont and Carentan.  The entire day was both fascinating and, as you might imagine, very moving.  If you enjoy history, I’d encourage you to add Normandy to your to-do list and if you want to do it with a guide, hire Colin.  He was wonderful.  Touch base with me and I’ll send you his contact info or you can Google his name and track him down on the internet.

Mont Saint-Michel

The next day I drove a few hours south and west of Bayeux to Mont Saint-Michel.  It is a small island, a few hundred meters off shore, that has a population of about 50 and is home to a famous monastery built in the 8th century.  Because it is relatively close to shore, the island is completely surrounded by water during high tide, but is accessible to visitors when the tide is out.  I paid a few Euro for an audio guide and spent time walking from building to building and room to room around the 17-acre site, learning about the hundreds of years of history that preceded my visit.  I finished around noon and was starting to get hungry, so I stopped into a small restaurant for lunch and ordered a meal that the island has become famous for: a very fluffy omelet.  When it first arrives, you think you will have a hard time eating it all, but when your fork slices through it, you realize it has an omelet texture on the outside and an airy fluff of egg bubbles on the inside. The best way I can describe it is to imagine the head of foam on a beer.  That is the texture of the inside of the omelet.

An unexpected surprise

Hunger satisfied, I returned to my car and punched in the coordinates for a little town called Villedieu-les Poêlles.  Before leaving home, I read an article about a famous cookware company in the town called Mauviel 1830.  My wife loves to cook, so I thought I’d swing by the town, tour the copper workshops and see if I could find her a gift that she would enjoy and, perhaps more importantly, would fit in my backpack.  When I got to the town, I stopped by the tourism office for directions and learned that Mauviel was not the only artisan factory in the town.  In fact, the town was loaded with craftsmen (and women) who, along with their predecessors, had been practicing their trades there since the middle ages.

One in particular that sounded fascinating to me was a bell foundry that is the source of the bells for many of the famous cathedrals in France and around the world.  A tour was 8 euros, which ended up being the bargain of the trip.  Touring the foundry and learning about the process (little changed for hundreds of years) that goes into making a bell was fascinating.  When hired to produce a bell, the craftsman chalks the weight of the bell and the name of the church onto the wooden beam above his station. Then, using a mixture of clay, horse manure and goat hair, he crafts an interior and exterior mold for the bell that, when fitted together, leave a cavity inside where the molten brass is poured. That all sounds difficult enough, until you learn of the complex math involved in calculating the appropriate shape and thickness of the bell so that it will ring the desired note (requested by the church) in perfect pitch over its 250-year life.  Today, the calculations are performed by computer.  For the hundreds of years prior, the craftsmen had only their brain power, pencil and paper to do the math.  Again, it was all really fascinating.  Visit our Facebook page for pictures.

After the tour, the day was growing short and I still had a 4-hour drive back to Paris, so I hit the road. I made it to the airport around 10 pm, dropped off the rental car and took a taxi to my hotel.  After a few hours sleep, it was back to the airport for an early morning flight to Italy and the next leg of the trip.  More on that soon.  Thanks for following along.

Be Intentional,

Joe