Quick thought for today.
If you want to live an intentional life, you should focus primarily on
the present. Let me explain. We all spend part of our days—either mentally
or physically—in the past, present or future.
You’re sitting there right now in the present, but maybe you’re thinking
about something you did this past weekend or dreaming about something you hope
to be doing 5 years from now. Past, present
and future. We all spend our time
inhabiting each of those spaces.
Unfortunately, most of us mess up the proportions. We spend too
much time and energy on the past and the future and not enough on the
present. We look back and worry about the
things we did or didn’t do. We look
forward and dream about the things we hope to eventually do. That only leaves a small amount of our time
where we’re honest to goodness living in and making the most out of the
I’m not saying that you should ignore the past and the
future, but the present should be your priority. Anything else means you’re focusing on things
you can’t change (the past) or things that might not happen (the future). Here are a few suggestions on how to get the
How to use your past:
Don’t obsess over it. Don’t
waste your time thinking about regrets or wishing you had done or said things
differently. Don’t cling to
bitterness. Don’t hold grudges. Instead,
think fondly of the good times and be grateful for the wisdom earned and lessons
learned from the challenging times. Use
it as a foundation to build on. Remember
the people, places and things that made you who you are.
How to prepare for your future: Don’t push everything to the future. Don’t treat it as some magical time where you’ll finally start living. Delayed gratification is great if it’s allowing you to work toward something, but it becomes a problem if it becomes an excuse for life avoidance. Use the runway between the present and the future for planning and preparation. Use it to set the proper direction for your life and to get any necessary prerequisites out of the way. Use it to set goals, dream, plan, save and even to experiment. All of those things will help you hit the ground running and make the most out of your future years.
How to live in the present: Don’t get bogged down in the routine of
life. Don’t focus all your time on the
maintenance of living. Don’t live a life
that is frantic and unintentional. Be
present in your days, with your friends and during experiences like vacations
rather than worrying about how to make it look a certain way on social
media. Decide what you really want out
of life and start doing that. Today. Even if you have to start small, start. Have intentional action in your relationships,
activities, health, hobbies, pursuits and every other area of your life. Be proactive.
Learn. Do. Go. Experiment. Take risks.
In other words, live.
A good balance of past/present/future is something like
10/60/30. If yours looks more like
30/20/50, you’re not really living life.
You’re worrying about the life you’ve already lived and dreaming about a
life you hope to someday live.
At Intentional Retirement, we believe that retirement is an
intentional way of living that prioritizes freedom, fulfillment, purpose and
relationships. It starts today and is an
incremental process of aligning your lifestyle and actions with your highest
priorities. To do that, you need to
focus on the present. Stop fretting over
what is past or dreaming about what is to come.
Today is a new day. Start doing.
Happy New Year! Just a quick thought today on doing (i.e. taking more at bats). One of the biggest retirement mistakes I see people make has nothing to do with money. It’s that they constantly defer their dreams. They just don’t do stuff. Everything is “someday” this and “someday” that. And I totally get it. It’s hard to decide what you really want out of life. It feels risky to put yourself out there to try stuff. But you absolutely have to do it.
The best advice I can give you for 2020 and beyond is to start
taking some at bats. Right now. Even if you’re not retired. Especially if you’re not retired. The worst that can happen is that things
don’t work out, you get rolled a little bit, so you dust yourself off and try
something different. Ironically, that’s
also one of the best things that can happen.
Because that failure is feedback.
It turns out we’re pretty terrible at knowing what’s going to make us
happy. The more stuff you try, even if
you don’t end up liking it, the better idea you’ll have of what’s important to
you, who’s important to you, what you like, what you dislike, what makes you
happy and what you’re passionate about.
All of those things help you understand yourself and they make
you more self-aware so you can design a life that takes you where you want to
go. Finding out that you actually hate
to travel or you stink at gardening or golf is awesome. That means you won’t waste any time or money
on those things during the prime of your retirement. Instead you can triple down on the things
that you do care about.
So start taking some at bats today. Get out there and try stuff. Take a trip.
Pick up a new hobby. Learn
something new. Meet new people. Challenge yourself. Get outside your comfort zone. Sure, you might strike out a few times. But you’ll get better. You’ll figure out what you really want out of
life and you’ll be doing something about it.
And that’s what living an intentional retirement and an intentional life
is all about.
How healthy are your friendships? The answer will have a huge impact on your retirement. Research shows that friends (or lack thereof) can affect your health, happiness and even your habits. Let’s look at the findings, examine some of the challenges your friendships will face as you age and discuss a few ways to make and maintain friendships during retirement.
How Friends Affect Us
According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships can affect your
health and happiness in a number of important ways:
- They provide support in tough times.
- They help you find belonging and purpose
- They reduce your stress and increase happiness
- They give self-confidence and self-worth
- They can help you through difficult times like
death, divorce, illness or job loss
- They provide accountability and positive peer
- They help reduce the risk of things like
depression, high blood pressure and unhealthy BMI.
In addition to the benefits above, friendships can help keep
your mind sharp. Several studies have found
that there is a strong connection between loneliness and cognitive
decline. For example, a 2018 study in
the Journals of Gerontology found that loneliness was associated with a 40%
increase in dementia among study participants.
In another study, researchers in the Netherlands found that people who
feel lonely are about 1.6 times more likely to get dementia.
There’s also evidence that the importance of friendships
increases as we age. Dr. William Chopik
at Michigan State University conducted a study on how our relationships affect
our health and happiness as we age. The results
showed that the benefits we get from healthy family relationships stays level
throughout life, but the value of good friendships has a greater impact on our
health and happiness as we age. According
to Dr. Chopik:
“Friendship quality often predicts health more so than the quality of other relationships.”
The Problem + The Solution
So the benefits of friends are huge, but there’s a
problem. Making and maintaining quality
friendships gets harder as you age. In
mid-life you have competing priorities like kids and work. As you age, caring for your parents often
gets added to the list. And life isn’t
static. Circumstances change and
friendships ebb and flow. Major life
events—death, divorce, job loss, moving and retirement—can derail even the best
of friendships. So if you want to enter
retirement with good friends that have a positive impact on your health,
happiness and cognitive function, you need to be intentional.
That means investing time, effort and often money into your friendships. It means being kind, likeable and trustworthy. It means listening and being transparent. It means being reliable and available. It means celebrating victories and being there when life is challenging. It means being loyal and avoiding drama. It means being proactive about spending time together. All those things have a compounding effect over time. They deepen friendships and give them a solid foundation. And as we saw earlier, those deep friendships take on added meaning as you age.
A Few Practical Applications
The primary takeaway is this: Don’t underestimate the power of friends. They can make or break your retirement. Start working on them now. If you’re looking for a good place to begin, forward this article to one or two of your friends and start a conversation. Ask how you can be a better friend. Plan an adventure or fun outing. Start a new tradition. Discuss ways to deepen your friendship. Compare retirement plans and make sure they overlap in ways that will allow you to maintain your friendship. All of this takes effort, but it’s worth it. The payoff is a healthier, happier life for both you and those you care about.
Most people rely on Medicare to cover their health expenses during retirement, but it won’t pay for everything. Here are 5 things that Medicare doesn’t cover.
Deductibles, coinsurance and copayments: Depending on the type of Medicare you choose, you’ll still be responsible for certain premiums, deductibles, coinsurance and copayments. For example, Medicare Part A is usually free, but you’ll pay a $1,364 deductible for each benefit period and if you’re in the hospital for more than 60 days you’ll pay a coinsurance amount for each day. Beyond a certain number of days, you are responsible for all costs. Part B has premium costs, a $185 annual deductible and 20% coinsurance on most services. Parts C and D have costs as well.
Prescription drugs: Original Medicare (Parts A and B) doesn’t cover prescription drug costs. To get that coverage you need to purchase a Part D plan.
Routine vision care, dental care and hearing aids: Original Medicare (Parts A and B) doesn’t cover things like eye exams, most dental care, dentures, hearing aids, acupuncture or routine foot care. Medicare Advantage (Part C) may cover some of those things, but you need to pay extra for Medicare Advantage.
Long-Term care: As people age, they often need help with daily activities like eating, dressing, bathing and using the restroom. You can get help with these types of things by moving into an assisted living facility, but Medicare typically will not cover any of those costs.
Medical care overseas: Medicare will typically not cover medical costs you incur while traveling outside the U.S. and its territories. There are a few exceptions, such as when you’re on a cruise ship in U.S. territorial waters or if you’re traveling to or from Alaska via Canada and the closest hospital that can treat you is in Canada.
These uncovered costs can add up to hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of your retirement, so you’ll want to plan accordingly. Earmark a portion of your nest egg for health expenses and then seriously consider purchasing additional insurance, such as long-term care insurance or a Medicare supplement plan, to cover anything not covered by Medicare. For more information on Medicare, visit www.medicare.gov.
To optimize something is to “make it as perfect, effective
or functional as possible.” That’s a
good goal for retirement. After all, you
only have one shot at it, so make it the best it can be. Here’s how to optimize your life for
Control your time. Think of life as a pie chart that is divided into time you control and time controlled by others. The goal is to gradually shrink the piece of the pie that is controlled by others. The smaller that piece becomes, the more “retired” you are. The more time you control, the more you can focus on the things you want to do rather than the things you have to do. How do you control more of your time? The primary way is to be financially independent, so make sure your finances are on track.
Optimize your location. The American Enterprise Institute recently published a study on how location affects happiness. They concluded that people who live closer to the things they want to do are happier, more involved, more satisfied with life and less likely to be lonely. Kind of a no brainer, right? If you love to ski, live close to the mountains. If you want to spend time with your kids, live in the same city. And the study found that proximity works for small things too. If you live near a multitude of amenities—the coffee shop, gym, community center, restaurants—you’ll likely get out more, feel less isolated and be happier.
Hack your health. A hack is a trick or method that increases efficiency. I have a friend who recently started a physical therapy practice that focuses on prevention rather than recovery. I think the idea is a brilliant hack. Similar to the dentist, you go in twice a year for evaluation and a checkup. He takes some baseline measurements and looks for problems. Then he asks what types of things you like to do (e.g. hike, ski, golf, garden, run, tennis, etc.) and gives you exercises that will allow you to do those things for as long as possible. I like to hike, so we’re working on leg strength, balance, joints and endurance. The idea is to keep me healthy and active doing the things I want to do for as long as possible. How about you? What types of things do you want to be able to continue doing as you age? Schedule some time with a local physical therapist and ask them to help you optimize your health for the lifestyle that you want to live.
Be specific. At the risk of sounding obvious, you have a much greater chance of accomplishing a goal if you know exactly what it is you want to do. If you want your retirement to run smoothly, make specific plans.
Take some at bats. One of the biggest mistakes I see some people make is that they constantly defer their dreams. The best advice I can give you today is to start taking some at bats. Right now. Even if you’re not retired. Especially if you’re not retired. The worst that can happen is that things don’t work out and you get rolled a little bit, so you dust yourself off and try something different. Ironically, that’s also one of the best things that can happen, because that failure is feedback. It turns out we’re pretty terrible at knowing what’s going to make us happy. The more stuff you try, even if you don’t end up liking it, the better idea you’ll have of what’s important to you, who’s important to you, what you like, what you dislike, what makes you happy and what you’re passionate about. That makes you more self-aware so you can design an optimized life that takes you where you want to go.
Be a system thinker. Retirement has a ton of moving parts that need to work together to produce the results that you want. Those parts include things like money, relationships, pursuits, Social Security, Medicare, healthcare, distribution planning, tax planning, housing and insurance to name a few. Those parts work together in a complex system. If the parts work, the system works. If one or more parts isn’t functioning properly, the system breaks down. To optimize your life for retirement, make sure that each part of that system is working as it should. Some parts you’ll be able to handle on your own. For other parts, you’ll likely need to enlist the help of people like your accountant, financial adviser or doctor.
Simplify. As you take more control of your time and plan your transition into retirement, make a “Stop Doing” list. Certain things will no longer be relevant to your new plans. Go through all your activities, obligations and commitments and decide what needs to go. Once finished, your schedule will be much less cluttered and you will be able to use your time more efficiently. Do the same thing with the physical clutter in your life.
Retirement is not a one size fits all proposition. By focusing on the items mentioned above and
tailoring them to your unique situation, you can optimize your life for the
retirement that you want.