Do I really want this or do I just think I want it?

decide what you really want

There are so many things that sound great in theory, but aren’t always great in practice. Take retirement for example.  No work.  Loads of free time.  Travel.  Those all sound great (and most of the time they are), but I’ve had retirees complain about every single one of them at one point or another over the years.  That’s why it’s so important to think about your plans and ask yourself this question before you enter retirement:

Do I really want this or do I just think I want it?

Another way to ask that might be “Do I want this in theory or in practice?”  Ask it of every major item on your retirement “To-do” list.  The only real way to answer that question is to experiment with your plans.  In other words, you actually start doing things.  Shocking concept!  You need to take all the things you have planned for “Someday” and start experimenting with them today.

This is not a trivial exercise.  It turns out that we’re pretty bad at predicting the things that will make us happy.  Scientists like Dan Gilbert at Harvard have done research that proves this.  So experimenting and doing the things on your list is a critical step to determine whether you’re on point or you need to go back to the drawing board.

And don’t feel bad if you don’t have things totally figured out.  None of us do.  That’s what experiments are for.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions.  All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.”

Take those words to heart.  Don’t wait.  Get out of the lecture and into the lab.  Experiment.  Test.  Refine.  Who cares if it’s not perfect.  Who cares if you get dusty or bloodied.  You’ll learn from it and get better. Just start trying things.  As you do, your brain will make certain connections, you’ll meet people that will be integral to your plans, you’ll develop skills you need, you’ll build confidence, you’ll sharpen your focus.  None of that stuff happens overnight.  You can’t flip a switch and have total clarity regarding your purpose, plans and priorities.  It takes time.  The sooner you start, the better prepared you’ll be to make the most out of your retirement years.

~ Joe

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