Don’t throw good life after bad

sunk cost

In business, a sunk cost is a cost that has already been incurred and can’t be recovered.  Economists tell us that we shouldn’t factor these costs in when making a rational decision about how to proceed.  Since we’re human and hate losses, however, we often use these previous costs as justification to invest more.

The more we invest in something, the harder it becomes to abandon.  To change would be to admit that those previous investments were wasted.  That’s a tough pill to swallow, so we engage in what economists call a sunk cost fallacy or what psychologists call irrational escalation.  You and I might more easily refer to it as throwing good money after bad.  Or for my British readers, in for a penny, in for a pound.

Most of the discussion around sunk costs has to do with money, but money isn’t the only metric.  Time is another resource we invest.  So is effort.  We invest those things in relationships, life pursuits, plans for retirement, a career.  Sometimes those investments pay off and get us to where we want to be.  Other times we realize, if given the chance to do it over, we would have chosen differently.  In those cases, just like the business person should not throw good money after bad, we should not throw good life after bad.  Or good time after bad.  Or good friendship after bad.

The time, energy, effort and emotion we previously put into all those things are sunk costs.  We shouldn’t use the fact that we invested badly as an excuse to continue to invest badly.  Yes, changing course will force you to admit the mistake.  That might cause pain, stress, confrontation or ridicule, but it will be temporary and you will have the opportunity to move forward in the right direction.  If you continue in your error, you won’t have the short-term moment of pain as you admit error, but you will have the long-term pain and regret that comes from persisting in your error.  Which is worse?  The latter, by far.

It’s Monday morning.  You’re starting a new week.  Maybe you’re heading off to work.  Maybe you’re already retired.  Either way, be honest with yourself.  Is there anything on your calendar this week that you’re doing, not because you want to or because you think it’s the right thing for you and your life, but because you’ve invested a bunch of time/money/life pursuing that path and you don’t want to admit failure?  I do.  This article is your permission to stop.  If not today, someday soon.  For today, at least make a decision if not an action.  Decide “this is not what I want to do.”  And then start figuring out exactly what it is you do want and what needs to change to make that a reality.  In short:

  1. Admit your mistake. Choose temporary over permanent pain.
  2. Decide what it is you really want out of life.
  3. Have the courage to pursue that, regardless of what came before.

~ Joe

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